Category: Write-Ups (Page 4 of 4)

ZH3 Hash #1077: World Peace Through Beer – Write-up

30. October 2017 /

Name: ZH3 Hash #1077: World Peace Through Beer

Location: Hare’s Hutch – Uster

Hare: Wet & Ready, Supported by Thirsty Thursday

RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction

Attendance: 24 half-minds and two dogs

Scribe: Hold My Hairy Wiener

This week the Hashers ventured outside of the familiar 110 Zone to explore the deep dark backwoods of Uster and celebrate beer in all its peace making glory. The Hashers arrived at the Hare’s hutch to discover the hare, Wet & Ready, was out finishing trail all on her own, so TT stepped up to deliver a chalk talk of sorts.

We had one virgin joining us – Just Andrea – that had no idea what we were doing from the chalk talk, but she was a good sport and followed the pack until she made some sense of things.

The trail was expertly laid and easy to follow even without a hare to herd us through the checks. To keep the pack together, there were plenty of check points, check backs, and best of all, Drink Stops. There were three drinks stops with a different international beer available at each, which were enjoyed by everyone other than Vulva Las Vegas. The first we came across after less 1km true trail, where many cans of Boddingtons were consumed. At the second stop, atop a hill, a beer so strong it can hardly be called a beer (and cannot at all be remembered by the scribe) was downed in slightly smaller quantities. At the third drink stop we were joined by our lovely hare and drank many cans of Old Speckled Hen.

The trail concluded back at the Hare’s Hutch, where items were gathered and taken to circle nearby. There we had the usual Swiss beers for drinking and wonderful snacks.

Notable Down Downs:

  • Slippery Digit was dead-bugged for requesting sexual favors from a canine and other nonsense
  • Just Andrea for being a virgin with down down assistance by Christian Harlot
  • Stick a Dick in It and Late Cummer for swapping shirts on trail
  • Hold My Hairy Wiener for her final hash with Zurich for the near future, and MeMe came in on hands and knees as a stand in Disco Bitch
  • Vulva Las Vegas for making sure the walkers didn’t miss a drink stop even though she hates beer
  • A bunch of other stuff but there was a lot of beer on trail so it was all quickly forgotten.

Venue: Hare’s hutch for bag storage and on-after at Zeughaus Bar.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send post-cards from your trip around the world, the name of the 2nd beer, and the secret to expertly laid trails to ZH3.com.

ZH3 Hash #1076: Wiener Takes All – Write-up

26. October 2017 /
 Name: ZH3 Hash #1076: Wiener Takes All

Location: Shamrock Pub, Wollishofen
Hare: Hold My Hairy Wiener, Disco Bitch, Just Ben
RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Attendance: 42 half-minds and one dog
Scribe: Down On My Sister

A herd of hashers arrived in old familiar Wollishofen and deposited their detritus, notably trying to avoid crushing a small baby in a pram that was left at the bag drop – it turns out, by a bartender. Infanticide, now THAT would be a way to start a hash.

After chalk talk and the introduction of virgin Just Nico – we tried not to lose him – the hash began, with everyone curious what kind of trail would be laid thanks to Disco Bitch’s wandering nose. Where would we end up? In garbage cans amongst tasty food scraps? Following strange trajectories as the Bitch chased a chipmunk? Or maybe we would just stay in a nice fleece-lined bag all hash, cuddled up against Hold My Hairy Wiener?

We followed flour down and across the hill, wondering if we would head towards the woods or towards the lake. It got darker and darker and several half-minds regretted not bringing a headlamp. The trail was well-marked and one check-back was a little too obvious, leading Flat n’ Easy to correctly intuit the turn in direction before the FRB’s had reached the offending mark. MeMe considered this poor hash behavior but what is a hasher if not a shortcutter? We all got extremely confused at an intersection (what else is new), but eventually made our way under the train tracks and down to Lake Zurich, where several hashers found it worthwhile to investigate the island despite the fact that there is only one entrance/exit and thus the trail could not lead on from there. We’re a smart bunch!

Following an aerial walkway we eventually got back on the “right side of the tracks” and everyone knew it was going to be a big hill to get to the beer stop. The trail passed by Butt Bugger’s house and despite her disabled state she hid behind a wall and scared the shit out of some FRB’s, then kindly cheered on the rest of us. Later in the climb some felt the need to try to vault a fence in order to get to their beer. Others merely laughed as the hare called us back and admonished us against going on private property.

Everyone eventually reached the finish, even the virgin, and we enjoyed beer and copious snacks, honor to Christian Harlot for correctly provisioning us. In fact everyone reached the end at practically the same time – a well-laid trail!

Aside from actual down-downs, S.C.U.M. made a lady friend during circle, congratulations S.C.U.M.

Notable Down-Downs:

  • For Hold My Hairy Wiener for haring for the last time before her departure.
  • Thumper Inside for never having seen a penis, apparently something about the dark.
  • Naked and Wasted for now being 30, my god, he’s practically dying of old age.
  • Several hashers for wearing shorts when it is clearly winter.
  • Butt Bugger for wearing many warm clothes despite being Canadian.
  • A deadbug but the scribe can’t remember who because she was probably drunk already.
  • Every time the hares drank, so did all the Austrians, because, you know, Wiener.

Venue: Familiar venue. They are nice.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send glow in the dark condoms, hot blooded Canadians, and dead baby jokes to ZH3.com.

ZH3 Hash #1072: Border Patrol Write-up

11. October 2017 /

Name: ZH3 Hash #1072: Border Patrol
Location: Restaurant Gartenhof – Testarossa, Seestrasse 15A, 8805 Richterswil, Switzerland
Hare: Spunky McSpunk Face
RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Attendance: Officially 16 hashers (5 no shows, may their beer be given to thirsty hashers), one non-lost dog, and a red woolly blanket
Scribe: The Shamcock

After making the long and arduous journey from Zürich to the border town of Richterswil, and enduring the horror of crossing many a SBB zone, the main herd of hashers arrived in a timely fashion to the On-In.  They then had to endure frustrated beer drinking due to, several late comers and worry about the silent no shows, who we assumed had been kidnapped by the evil citizens of Canton Schwyz. Yes, we had traveled so far that we were on the borders of this hellish Canton.

With a brief chalk talk we moved out, the hare’s warnings of hostile natives echoing in our ears.

We set off at a brisk pace, following flour down to the lake, knowing in the back of our minds that the steep hill was behind us. The trail was well marked and the cries of On-On echoed through the dark streets. It was indeed steep with many a check back, which unlike last week the hashers actually ran. At one point, there was a collective “readers block”, which surprisingly happened at the UF check back.  This occurred at the border of Zürich where the hostility of the locals was greatest and the hill the steepest. Fortunately, after most of the hashers arrived the “readers block” resolved itself and we were able to continue.

The hare’s tales about the natives proved true. One local admitted to removing trail, but turned out to be a friendly fellow. He explained that he thought they were marks made by burglars, marking the houses, and so had them removed. After assuring him we were just a bunch of runners looking for beer at the end of the trail, we moved on enduring the hostile stares of many a native and even the slow drive of a large BMW.

And so on to circle. Snacks were provided by Weapon Ass Destruction
Also, under the new Beer-raiser system, drinks were provided by MeMe & Ice-Footsie, down down cups were forgotten so we drank out of our cans.

Notable Down-Downs:

  • Eat my pussy was dead bugged for head gear in the circle (multiple head gears in the circle)
  • JUST Selma for impeccable hair style after the run
  • Loves It Down Under for Red Rocketing, please ask Weapon Ass Destruction for an exact description, but basically LIDU was rubbing Ice Footse’s dog`s penis.
  • Shamcock for being tea bagged by Ice Footse’s dog, there seems to be a trend
  • Thirsty Thursday for getting his cast chewed on by (guess who?) Ice Footse’s dog who was having a blast.
  • Spunky McSpunk Face for getting lost on his own trail
  • The usual boring sex in circle for Shamcock and LIDU
  • Circle ended when a few drops of rain fell and the hashers ran like pansies as if they were made of sugar

Venue: Cheap beer. Food very good, reasonable prices. Restaurant was hash friendly and glad to serve us

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send a definition of “readers block”, interesting sex, and running pansies to ZH3.com.

ZH3 Hash #1071: Let me Schwamending you hash – Write-up

5. October 2017 /

Name: ZH3 Hash #1071: Let me Schwamending you hash

Location: Pizzeria Don Emilio, Schwamendingen

Hares: Shamcock and Dick Back of Notre Dame (formally Just Claude)

RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction

Attendance: 38 hashers, one lost dog, and a baby

Scibe: MeMe

So there we were… North of North East into the back end of beyond (or just shy of Stettbach!)

Why were we there? Because we were promised shiggy, hills, tunnels, and medically injected shots. Whatever that all means.

After waiting a sensible period of time for stragglers, we were off with only a bit of late start. Straight up a small hill and almost immediately resolve was tested, with the 1st tunnel ‘challenge’ presenting itself. A notable performance by GRAB MY SACK, for taking his shoes off. After this, onwards and surprise, surprise upwards.

A few more checkbacks caused the pack to start to become splintered. A good have dozen, including SLIPPERY DIGIT (more on him later!), DOG WOODY, and others were caught in a massive checkback and just thought … “Not back up that hill,” almost as if they could already smell the beer stop and proceeded to ‘Zen home’. More fools them, as they missed the Shot stops provided by SHAMCOCK and the as of yet un-named Claude.

The main pack spurred on by their shots were not long (<10mins) after the short-cutters.

So on to circle. Snacks were provided by LIDU in the form of Cheese, grapes, and Bread. Much enjoyed by all.

Also, under the new Beer-raiser system, drinks were provided by MEME, ICE-FOOTSIE & DOG WOODY. Efforts much appreciated. Also new was if you are going to drink from a bottle (bubbles or cider), Down Down vessels are not to be used. Remember this for the future!

Notable Down-Downs:

SPUNKNIK for not knowing who the committee are

BELCHES WITH WOLVES and 1-NIGHT WONDER, for a multitude of reasons.. Going to the Zoo (No need as the Hash provides all the animals you need!), being late, and Last but not least, was curing SLIPPERY DIGIT of his constipation by scaring the shit out of him on the way back in. I can’t think of worse person to scare you in the darkness!

Virgin Just Casper said he would come again

Last but not least, the main event being the naming of Just Claude…

He had a white tee-shirt that someone had written a cock and balls on his back in permanent marker. The shirt was washed but the cock and balls remained and persists … So not the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but Arise ‘Dick Back of Notre Dame’ (something to do with being French in there too!)

Venue: Cheapish beer. Food good enough, cheap enough.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up.

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