ZH3 Hash #1121: The Rubix Cube Hash
Hares: KGBitch and Keys to the Treasure
RA: Asphalt and Slippy
Scribe: Just Brian
The venue was Stars & Stripes which is the BEST venue in Switzerland because it is the named for the BEST nation and only the BEST people go there and it has the BEST food. (Don’t order the nachos though as they have pickles instead of guacamole; they are both green, I guess.)
The hares were Keys to the Treasure and KGBitch which avoided doing a lovers’ down-down despite living together which has to be the fault of the RA.
The RA was Asphalt Liquor who did manage to organize better weather than was predicted with assistance from Slippery Digit.
There were about 35 hashers.
The trail, as usual, lacked hookers which aren’t that difficult to find in Zurich (MeMe has a map) but had an usual marking: a Rubix Cube. At such marking, hashers were supposed to exchange an item of clothing.
Most participated in the theme so there was a fair bit of swapping clothing. Despite the high potential for nudity, there was, apparently, none. The second most likely person to be naked on a Hash denied that she showed boobage although witnesses dispute this hence could be FAKE NEWS. Otherwise Lick My Sac ended up in a bra which no harriet claimed ownership of. The color suited him though.
The main high (or low) light was Premature Cocksucker trying to get Asphalt Liquor to run around in her bra. Although we applaud the attempt as AL wouldn’t be number 1 on the list above (but her husband would be 3), it backfired spectacularly. He ended up running around in his tightie whities (don’t let the truth get in the way of good story and it wasn’t any better) while AL had an extra baggy turtle neck sweater to wear. PC eventually did manage to find some baggier underwear to wear over his tightie whities but, in the process, Kiwi Pee Wee ended up in a dress. (I was even present at this trade and still not sure how it happened or where the underwear came from although Dr Nob said it was his.)
Apparently, there was a walkers’ trail that started with one harriet, Butt Bugger, and grew to three.
As per her name, Virgin Hunter did recruit another virgin, Just Maria from Spain, who was lost for, like, a really long time and only made it back to the circle when the virgins were being called to do their obligatory down-down. The other virgin was from the UK who has lived in Zurich for 8 years although only started to run 2 years ago but has never hashed.
Speaking of the circle, it was quite loud as it was decided that a train underpass was the ideal place for it. After all, Swiss trains run, like, never so it was library quiet.
There were some late comers: Stick in a Dick in It and Latecumer. Consequently, they were put to work as beer bitches which is an excellent policy although these two will probably be permanent beer bitches then.
But even later late comers like Cruching Tiger, Hidden Bruises and Soft Top were welcomed with open arms hence the moral of the story is be on-time or really late.
TAF made her second appearance as she was doing something lame like finishing her PhD. We expect her to make it a habit now.
To go with the theme, Keys to the Treasure introduced some songs with colors that he learned as a boy scout. It must be one fucked up troop.
Kiwi Pee Wee showed his incredible prowess with the Rubix Cube being able to solve it in minutes. (Apparently, he never got laid in high school).
There was amazing abundance of racists at this hash which was allowed due to the theme. And apparently there is another racist event on Saturday, May 5.
Editor’s Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up by speaking to Asphalt.