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ZH3 Hash #1077: World Peace Through Beer – Write-up

Name: ZH3 Hash #1077: World Peace Through Beer

Location: Hare’s Hutch – Uster

Hare: Wet & Ready, Supported by Thirsty Thursday

RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction

Attendance: 24 half-minds and two dogs

Scribe: Hold My Hairy Wiener

This week the Hashers ventured outside of the familiar 110 Zone to explore the deep dark backwoods of Uster and celebrate beer in all its peace making glory. The Hashers arrived at the Hare’s hutch to discover the hare, Wet & Ready, was out finishing trail all on her own, so TT stepped up to deliver a chalk talk of sorts.

We had one virgin joining us – Just Andrea – that had no idea what we were doing from the chalk talk, but she was a good sport and followed the pack until she made some sense of things.

The trail was expertly laid and easy to follow even without a hare to herd us through the checks. To keep the pack together, there were plenty of check points, check backs, and best of all, Drink Stops. There were three drinks stops with a different international beer available at each, which were enjoyed by everyone other than Vulva Las Vegas. The first we came across after less 1km true trail, where many cans of Boddingtons were consumed. At the second stop, atop a hill, a beer so strong it can hardly be called a beer (and cannot at all be remembered by the scribe) was downed in slightly smaller quantities. At the third drink stop we were joined by our lovely hare and drank many cans of Old Speckled Hen.

The trail concluded back at the Hare’s Hutch, where items were gathered and taken to circle nearby. There we had the usual Swiss beers for drinking and wonderful snacks.

Notable Down Downs:

  • Slippery Digit was dead-bugged for requesting sexual favors from a canine and other nonsense
  • Just Andrea for being a virgin with down down assistance by Christian Harlot
  • Stick a Dick in It and Late Cummer for swapping shirts on trail
  • Hold My Hairy Wiener for her final hash with Zurich for the near future, and MeMe came in on hands and knees as a stand in Disco Bitch
  • Vulva Las Vegas for making sure the walkers didn’t miss a drink stop even though she hates beer
  • A bunch of other stuff but there was a lot of beer on trail so it was all quickly forgotten.

Venue: Hare’s hutch for bag storage and on-after at Zeughaus Bar.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send post-cards from your trip around the world, the name of the 2nd beer, and the secret to expertly laid trails to

ZH3 Hash #1076: Wiener Takes All – Write-up

 Name: ZH3 Hash #1076: Wiener Takes All

Location: Shamrock Pub, Wollishofen
Hare: Hold My Hairy Wiener, Disco Bitch, Just Ben
RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Attendance: 42 half-minds and one dog
Scribe: Down On My Sister

A herd of hashers arrived in old familiar Wollishofen and deposited their detritus, notably trying to avoid crushing a small baby in a pram that was left at the bag drop – it turns out, by a bartender. Infanticide, now THAT would be a way to start a hash.

After chalk talk and the introduction of virgin Just Nico – we tried not to lose him – the hash began, with everyone curious what kind of trail would be laid thanks to Disco Bitch’s wandering nose. Where would we end up? In garbage cans amongst tasty food scraps? Following strange trajectories as the Bitch chased a chipmunk? Or maybe we would just stay in a nice fleece-lined bag all hash, cuddled up against Hold My Hairy Wiener?

We followed flour down and across the hill, wondering if we would head towards the woods or towards the lake. It got darker and darker and several half-minds regretted not bringing a headlamp. The trail was well-marked and one check-back was a little too obvious, leading Flat n’ Easy to correctly intuit the turn in direction before the FRB’s had reached the offending mark. MeMe considered this poor hash behavior but what is a hasher if not a shortcutter? We all got extremely confused at an intersection (what else is new), but eventually made our way under the train tracks and down to Lake Zurich, where several hashers found it worthwhile to investigate the island despite the fact that there is only one entrance/exit and thus the trail could not lead on from there. We’re a smart bunch!

Following an aerial walkway we eventually got back on the “right side of the tracks” and everyone knew it was going to be a big hill to get to the beer stop. The trail passed by Butt Bugger’s house and despite her disabled state she hid behind a wall and scared the shit out of some FRB’s, then kindly cheered on the rest of us. Later in the climb some felt the need to try to vault a fence in order to get to their beer. Others merely laughed as the hare called us back and admonished us against going on private property.

Everyone eventually reached the finish, even the virgin, and we enjoyed beer and copious snacks, honor to Christian Harlot for correctly provisioning us. In fact everyone reached the end at practically the same time – a well-laid trail!

Aside from actual down-downs, S.C.U.M. made a lady friend during circle, congratulations S.C.U.M.

Notable Down-Downs:

  • For Hold My Hairy Wiener for haring for the last time before her departure.
  • Thumper Inside for never having seen a penis, apparently something about the dark.
  • Naked and Wasted for now being 30, my god, he’s practically dying of old age.
  • Several hashers for wearing shorts when it is clearly winter.
  • Butt Bugger for wearing many warm clothes despite being Canadian.
  • A deadbug but the scribe can’t remember who because she was probably drunk already.
  • Every time the hares drank, so did all the Austrians, because, you know, Wiener.

Venue: Familiar venue. They are nice.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send glow in the dark condoms, hot blooded Canadians, and dead baby jokes to

Thanksgiving Hash 2017

ZH3 Hash #1084

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Regular 5 CHF hash cash for the run,  30 CHF for Thanksgiving dinner (5 CHF for kids under 12; kids over 12 will be charged full price and given small beer).

Location: Bäckeranlage, Langstrasse, 8004 Zürich, Switzerland

Let us know if you are coming and what you are bringing by signing-up on this form. Please bring food!

Zurich Hash House Harriers

Migros Bank AG, 8010 Zürich
IBAN: CH74 0840 1000 0519 9117 9
Account holder: Zürich Hash House Harriers

Address: Schaffhauserstrasse 35, 8006 Zürich

Memo: ZH3 Thanksgiving 2017


(Yes, this is the same graphic as last year.)

ZH3 Hash #1073: The Spit Roast Hash – Write-up

Name: ZH3 Hash #1073: The Spit Roast Hash
Location: Robinsonspielplatz, and in the deep dark woods
Hare: Climbidia and Papa F.K.K.
RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Attendance: Officially 35 hashers, dogs, and assorted offspring.
Scribe: MeMe

This is not so much a story of the hash, but of the build-up, the delivery, the smuggling, the kiddy scaring, the cooking, the acrobatic carving, and the many occurrences surrounding the hash itself!

It wasn’t your average, Ho-hum run of the mill hash. I want to Mention ROUSs but I don’t think they exist!

Where to begin? The hash was aptly named ‘Spit roast hash’ due to the cooking method employed to prepare the sacrificial offering. How was this obtained? The Piggy was smuggled across the border under the cover of darkness by one of the co-hares Papa F.K.K.

Once delivered to a secret location on the outskirts of Zürich, off-spring units were informed of the delivery of said Piggy. This news was met with much squealing (not by the piggy) and excitement by the offspring units. A short lived event as the kids were introduced to the dressed, albeit eyeless piggy in the boot of the car. Where she/he lay until the early morning. The sex of the ‘It was bought in a Cash deal’ Piggy was not discussed between the smuggler and the providing abattoir, and was only discussed in and around the fire pit.

The Piggy was moved ‘to location’ in the early hours for a slow roasting. 0700 was discussed. The fire was set, and the slowly rotating piggy was guarded for the forthcoming 7-8 hours by Just Joe with further support from Stogie Gibberish. Any romantic visions of slaves standing fireside will unfortunately have to disappear as the electric rotisserie was powered by a car battery, provided by Slippery Digit. (Who had to carry the car battery home, when nobody was sober! No good deed goes unpunished!)

Fast forward to the early afternoon: Several Virgins attended, one of whom came from Liechtenstein as “There is nothing to do there and I have had to travel 2 hours to get here”. 2 others that ran too much, but more on them later. And another local guy with a big beautiful dog.

More than a few regular hashers also arrived with side dishes in hand. Our GM, Asphalt Licker, brought home made red cabbage. Many salads were also provided. Scribe never saw who brought what so cannot name. There were 2 fantastic cakes. In the words of Cheesy Balls, the walnut cake, prepared by Sticky Fingers was, “Dreadful … As I only got one piece!”

So on to the hash itself. Most noticeable in the chalk talk was the over emphasized ‘Boar & Piglet’ split. The extra-long Boar section when compared to the super short Piglet turned out to be about 60m different in length. I guess that the hares have to amuse themselves somehow.

The weather forecast was dreadful … but wrong. Fantastic weather. Scribe did about 10Km. Two of the virgins did +14Km, came in 1st etc. Enjoyed it and said they would be back. Some previously used trail, but plenty of virgin territory …

At the circle and On-In. The hashers arrived to a table full of food, Piggy slow roasting, and circle. Impatient hashers continually distracted wanting to be fed.

Noticeable Down-Downs?

  • Obviously the smuggling Hare & when one Hare drinks…
  • Virgins/ visitors / over achievers
  • Food providers
  • There was a dead bug
  • Grab my Sack did something. (Scribe should really scribe the day after, not 10+ later!)
  • Slippery Digit for “Piggy was driven by my juices”, less said about that the better really.
  • Dog owners for errant dogs in circle – Slippery Digit, Hold My Hairy Wiener, and 1 Just Dog Owner.
  • The other 2 unnamed virgins were down downed for ‘Winning and over achieving’.
  • Anyway short circle, due to excess slobbering of persons eyeing up Piggy.

Not in circle but a noticeable performance by Climbidia for bearing down on Piggy, with carving knives in hand. I am sure that straddling Piggy from above was not necessary, but it looked good.

All hashers finally left with very happy, with full bellies, and plenty of leftovers.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send leftovers, an Uber for Slippery Digit, and more walnut cake to

ZH3 Hash #1072: Border Patrol Write-up

Name: ZH3 Hash #1072: Border Patrol
Location: Restaurant Gartenhof – Testarossa, Seestrasse 15A, 8805 Richterswil, Switzerland
Hare: Spunky McSpunk Face
RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Attendance: Officially 16 hashers (5 no shows, may their beer be given to thirsty hashers), one non-lost dog, and a red woolly blanket
Scribe: The Shamcock

After making the long and arduous journey from Zürich to the border town of Richterswil, and enduring the horror of crossing many a SBB zone, the main herd of hashers arrived in a timely fashion to the On-In.  They then had to endure frustrated beer drinking due to, several late comers and worry about the silent no shows, who we assumed had been kidnapped by the evil citizens of Canton Schwyz. Yes, we had traveled so far that we were on the borders of this hellish Canton.

With a brief chalk talk we moved out, the hare’s warnings of hostile natives echoing in our ears.

We set off at a brisk pace, following flour down to the lake, knowing in the back of our minds that the steep hill was behind us. The trail was well marked and the cries of On-On echoed through the dark streets. It was indeed steep with many a check back, which unlike last week the hashers actually ran. At one point, there was a collective “readers block”, which surprisingly happened at the UF check back.  This occurred at the border of Zürich where the hostility of the locals was greatest and the hill the steepest. Fortunately, after most of the hashers arrived the “readers block” resolved itself and we were able to continue.

The hare’s tales about the natives proved true. One local admitted to removing trail, but turned out to be a friendly fellow. He explained that he thought they were marks made by burglars, marking the houses, and so had them removed. After assuring him we were just a bunch of runners looking for beer at the end of the trail, we moved on enduring the hostile stares of many a native and even the slow drive of a large BMW.

And so on to circle. Snacks were provided by Weapon Ass Destruction
Also, under the new Beer-raiser system, drinks were provided by MeMe & Ice-Footsie, down down cups were forgotten so we drank out of our cans.

Notable Down-Downs:

  • Eat my pussy was dead bugged for head gear in the circle (multiple head gears in the circle)
  • JUST Selma for impeccable hair style after the run
  • Loves It Down Under for Red Rocketing, please ask Weapon Ass Destruction for an exact description, but basically LIDU was rubbing Ice Footse’s dog`s penis.
  • Shamcock for being tea bagged by Ice Footse’s dog, there seems to be a trend
  • Thirsty Thursday for getting his cast chewed on by (guess who?) Ice Footse’s dog who was having a blast.
  • Spunky McSpunk Face for getting lost on his own trail
  • The usual boring sex in circle for Shamcock and LIDU
  • Circle ended when a few drops of rain fell and the hashers ran like pansies as if they were made of sugar

Venue: Cheap beer. Food very good, reasonable prices. Restaurant was hash friendly and glad to serve us

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send a definition of “readers block”, interesting sex, and running pansies to

ZH3 Hash #1071: Let me Schwamending you hash – Write-up

Name: ZH3 Hash #1071: Let me Schwamending you hash

Location: Pizzeria Don Emilio, Schwamendingen

Hares: Shamcock and Dick Back of Notre Dame (formally Just Claude)

RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction

Attendance: 38 hashers, one lost dog, and a baby

Scibe: MeMe

So there we were… North of North East into the back end of beyond (or just shy of Stettbach!)

Why were we there? Because we were promised shiggy, hills, tunnels, and medically injected shots. Whatever that all means.

After waiting a sensible period of time for stragglers, we were off with only a bit of late start. Straight up a small hill and almost immediately resolve was tested, with the 1st tunnel ‘challenge’ presenting itself. A notable performance by GRAB MY SACK, for taking his shoes off. After this, onwards and surprise, surprise upwards.

A few more checkbacks caused the pack to start to become splintered. A good have dozen, including SLIPPERY DIGIT (more on him later!), DOG WOODY, and others were caught in a massive checkback and just thought … “Not back up that hill,” almost as if they could already smell the beer stop and proceeded to ‘Zen home’. More fools them, as they missed the Shot stops provided by SHAMCOCK and the as of yet un-named Claude.

The main pack spurred on by their shots were not long (<10mins) after the short-cutters.

So on to circle. Snacks were provided by LIDU in the form of Cheese, grapes, and Bread. Much enjoyed by all.

Also, under the new Beer-raiser system, drinks were provided by MEME, ICE-FOOTSIE & DOG WOODY. Efforts much appreciated. Also new was if you are going to drink from a bottle (bubbles or cider), Down Down vessels are not to be used. Remember this for the future!

Notable Down-Downs:

SPUNKNIK for not knowing who the committee are

BELCHES WITH WOLVES and 1-NIGHT WONDER, for a multitude of reasons.. Going to the Zoo (No need as the Hash provides all the animals you need!), being late, and Last but not least, was curing SLIPPERY DIGIT of his constipation by scaring the shit out of him on the way back in. I can’t think of worse person to scare you in the darkness!

Virgin Just Casper said he would come again

Last but not least, the main event being the naming of Just Claude…

He had a white tee-shirt that someone had written a cock and balls on his back in permanent marker. The shirt was washed but the cock and balls remained and persists … So not the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but Arise ‘Dick Back of Notre Dame’ (something to do with being French in there too!)

Venue: Cheapish beer. Food good enough, cheap enough.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up.

Stuttgart Festhash 2018 – Still with no sense of humor



27-29 April

More info

Zurich Hash House Harriers – Winterfest 2018!!!!


February 09-11, in Uster (Zurich)


The time has come again for the Zurich Hash House Harriers to fully embrace the winter, and we invite Hashers from all over to come join us and keep our bodies warm at night for a full weekend hash in the midst of winter! There will be snow (maybe), there will be beer (definitely) and there will be trails, madness, late night parties, early morning regrets and another weekend to never forget!

What will you get out of this? For one, a roof over your head for an entire weekend. We will be staying at the Pfadizentrum Uster (pics, slideshows, german mumbo jumbo under: ). For two, food, drinks and parties will be provided throughout the weekend. For three, Winterfest Haberdashery! For four, wait, what else do you need???

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Annual General Meeting

Annual General Meeting

September 21  2017

Its that time of year again! Time to vote on the next Mismanagement team!

(September 28 2017 updated with results.)

Please see the sub pages for:

Who’s been nominated? Who was selected?

Position Nominees
Grandmeister/Grandmistress (GM/Whip Cracker) *Asphalt Liquor
Ice Footsie (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Wet n Ready (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Facial Discrimination (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Religious Advisor (RA) *Weapon of Ass Destruction
Schogginatrix (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Christian Harlot  (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
TT (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Hash Cash (Moneygrubber) *Slippery Digit
Dog Woody (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Saddam (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Hare Raiser (Maniacal Fox) *Squatty Potty
Vulva Las Vegas (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Web Slave (Secret Dork) *Facial Discrimination
Dog Woody
Flat & Easy (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Keys to the Treasure (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Biermeister (Generally Worshipped) *MeMe
Ice Footsie (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Dog Woody (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)
Haberdasher (Expert Marketer) *Smoking Cock
Slippery Digit (Grateful for the Nomination, but not interested)

See you at the AGM!

*Indicates that the individual was selected for the position.

SOLA Stafette 2017

May 6, 2017

Sola is the biggest Uni-sponsored sports event in Switzerland. Every year a max of 1000 teams of 14 people each run ~115 km (2645m altitude diff) all around Zurich. The 14 legs of the race are between 3.71 and 13.92 km long, some hilly, some flat. Two are reserved only for women. This year we’ve signed up for 2 teams, so we need 28 Hashers to run for us!

The entry fee is 30 CHF per person. Hash will take care of the remainder, post-run beer delivery for each r*nner and the Circle afterword.

To sign up for a spot on the team, please click here: Sola Rego

To sign up for circle, please RSVP on meetup as usual.

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