ZH3 Hash #1119 – The Two Finger Discount Hash
Hares: Sticky Fingers & Slippery Digit
RA: Weapon of Ass Destruction
Scribe: Buttbugger

General overview of meeting details:

  • Location – Pizza Callimero
    • Kindly note the venue generously offered to extend their opening hours to suit our unique needs. All attendees were encouraged to tip generously.
    • 38 attendees RSVPed via Meetup. A rough estimate in the vicinity of 45 turned up.
    • Gassy Lassy is a notoriously poor rsvper, Note, someone should clarify the value of the rsvp for such endeavors, as well as encouraging her to poop pre-hash.
  • Meeting marketing campaign
    • Two fingers for the price of one was advertised
    • To the best of our knowledge no one was fingered on the hash, which leads us question the accuracy of the advertising in this instance.

Walkers trail summary:

  • Gassy Lassy pooped, and dragged a naïve Cavity Search left right and center.
  • Climbidia kindly provided alcoholic beverages of various natures for all of the lovely ladies accompanying him, with the exception of Gassy Lassy.
  • Butt Bugger offered to marry the owner of a delightful house, Climbdia informed her the owner was single, but not looking.
  • Just Nina learned to her peril the danger of saying anything remotely inappropriate, she also learned that the details as to whom actually said what, is also not particularly relevant.
  • Climbidia had some potential social consequences in the neighborhood. As a result, he has forced to skulk from shadow to shadow, bemoaning the number of ladies in flocking to him in search of sexual skill.
    • Kindly note, none of the other walkers believed him.

Circle highlights:

  • Brownies of an undubious nature were provided by Sticky Fingers and heartily enjoyed.
  • Inappropriate and appropriate methods of wetting bananas were comprehensively discussed, for which, Just Nina was down downed.
  • Just Brian aka he who shall not be named aka lord Voldemort returned from the dead aka Australia aka USA aka his office in true he who shall not be named fashion, for which, he was down downed.
  • Spunknik returned from the dead aka USA. Unfortunately, she returned to hashing much too soon for anyone to notice and as such, avoided punishment, no down downs awarded.
  • Racist gear of questionable and or hash origin were down-downed.
    • Kindly note, the truth should never get in the way of a good down down.
  • Butt Bugger snuck a pair of new shoes through the walkers trail successfully this time.
  • For a comprehensive list of down-downs awarded, hashers are kindly directed to follow-up with MeMe directly
    • Despite the fact that he has formally left, we believe he is probably still up to date on down downable offenses
  • Premature Cock Sucker – the hasher formally known as Just Carlos, was finally named after a more or less illustrious career as a Just hasher
    • Interestingly, his name was unbeknownst to her, proposed by his wife
    • In violation of every hash tradition known to man or bugger, he was named despite wearing racist gear.
    • It is assumed this was removed pre-naming, but, this was not directly observed.

Follow-up actions

  • Gassy Lassy should be advised to poop pre-hash, and improve her rsvp standards
  • All hashers should from this point forward forget they ever knew anyone named Just Carlos, upon pain of down-downs
  • All hashers should note that they should consume bananas from the following hashers at their own risk
    • Just Nina
    • Stick a dick in it
    • Slippery Digit
    • Christian Harlot

The next meeting will be held on the 26th of April, coincidentally also in a pizza place, and also involving fingers. Hashers should note, this will be a dark matter free hash, and this will be strictly enforced.


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