ZH3 Hash #1117 – Un Hash italiano
Hare: Soaked Baloney
RA: Weapon of Ass Destruction
Scribe: How do you define Veird
Hashie, the Hash Stick
Hi, my name is Hashie, the hash stick! Before I became a hash stick, I was chillaxing for about 1-10 years (nobody can really tell how many exactly) in the woods of Oerlikon. I had quite a calm life until that one day #1117, when a stupid hasher, who goes by the name How Do You Define Veird, picked me up from my cozy, shiggy spot in the woods during another ZH3 trail! I was just in the middle of my annual hibernation, when that f****** tosser molested me and took me with him! He dragged me along all the damn trail and performed all kind of veird wanna-be martial arts movements from the Matrix. Veird banged me against trees, hash cars, hash bikes, hash brownies, other hashers and especially against each and every harriettes’s T&As – what a creep! Rumour has it, Veird even abused me to smash a window of a local immigrant shop owner who just got his C permit after trying so hard for continuous 25 years! I can’t really remember much of it coz it went all blurry after contracting a severe concussion when Veird threw me down 500 feet from Milchbuck bridge after soaking me in white gas and setting me on fire with his f***** fag.
I already thought it was over, but it took only a matter of seconds and Veird was in the starting blocks to continue his diabolic torturing of me! He dragged me around all of Kreis 11 until finally arriving at the Beer Stop at the old MFO park next to Oerlikon train station. I remember this place only from stories: My great-great-grandfather had served here years ago until the moment when they sliced him up into pieces in order for him to serve his final duty as wooden plank in Uto Kulm’s hotel on Uetliberg.
Veird had put me in the middle of the circle for everyone to see my tormented and hash-raped existence. Just when I started feeling a little bit more at ease for the first time in the long time, a f****** hash dog grabbed my by the pussy and aggressively cut my throat with his choppers in one go. All hashers, except Veird, got instantly disgusted by the massive amount of tree flesh and liquid that splattered all over the place – some even threw up or fainted. Luckily, a hash doctor stopped by to treat the incapacitated.
I am not sure what I have done wrong in my life to upset Gaia this much, but somehow I feel like I am doomed to live this life in darkness for an eternity…!
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