Category: Write-Ups

ZH3 Hash #1072: Border Patrol Write-up

Name: ZH3 Hash #1072: Border Patrol
Location: Restaurant Gartenhof – Testarossa, Seestrasse 15A, 8805 Richterswil, Switzerland
Hare: Spunky McSpunk Face
RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Attendance: Officially 16 hashers (5 no shows, may their beer be given to thirsty hashers), one non-lost dog, and a red woolly blanket
Scribe: The Shamcock

After making the long and arduous journey from Zürich to the border town of Richterswil, and enduring the horror of crossing many a SBB zone, the main herd of hashers arrived in a timely fashion to the On-In.  They then had to endure frustrated beer drinking due to, several late comers and worry about the silent no shows, who we assumed had been kidnapped by the evil citizens of Canton Schwyz. Yes, we had traveled so far that we were on the borders of this hellish Canton.

With a brief chalk talk we moved out, the hare’s warnings of hostile natives echoing in our ears.

We set off at a brisk pace, following flour down to the lake, knowing in the back of our minds that the steep hill was behind us. The trail was well marked and the cries of On-On echoed through the dark streets. It was indeed steep with many a check back, which unlike last week the hashers actually ran. At one point, there was a collective “readers block”, which surprisingly happened at the UF check back.  This occurred at the border of Zürich where the hostility of the locals was greatest and the hill the steepest. Fortunately, after most of the hashers arrived the “readers block” resolved itself and we were able to continue.

The hare’s tales about the natives proved true. One local admitted to removing trail, but turned out to be a friendly fellow. He explained that he thought they were marks made by burglars, marking the houses, and so had them removed. After assuring him we were just a bunch of runners looking for beer at the end of the trail, we moved on enduring the hostile stares of many a native and even the slow drive of a large BMW.

And so on to circle. Snacks were provided by Weapon Ass Destruction
Also, under the new Beer-raiser system, drinks were provided by MeMe & Ice-Footsie, down down cups were forgotten so we drank out of our cans.

Notable Down-Downs:
Eat my pussy was dead bugged for head gear in the circle (multiple head gears in the circle)
JUST Selma for impeccable hair style after the run
Loves It Down Under for Red Rocketing, please ask Weapon Ass Destruction for an exact description, but basically LIDU was rubbing Ice Footse’s dog`s penis.
Shamcock for being tea bagged by Ice Footse’s dog, there seems to be a trend
Thirsty Thursday for getting his cast chewed on by (guess who?) Ice Footse’s dog who was having a blast.
Spunky McSpunk Face for getting lost on his own trail
The usual boring sex in circle for Shamcock and LIDU
Circle ended when a few drops of rain fell and the hashers ran like pansies as if they were made of sugar

Venue: Cheap beer. Food very good, reasonable prices. Restaurant was hash friendly and glad to serve us

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up. Please send a definition of “readers block”, interesting sex, and running pansies to ZH3.com.

ZH3 Hash #1071: Let me Schwamending you hash – Write-up

Name: ZH3 Hash #1071: Let me Schwamending you hash

Location: Pizzeria Don Emilio, Schwamendingen

Hares: Shamcock and Dick Back of Notre Dame (formally Just Claude)

RA: Weapons of Ass Destruction

Attendance: 38 hashers, one lost dog, and a baby

Scibe: MeMe

So there we were… North of North East into the back end of beyond (or just shy of Stettbach!)

Why were we there? Because we were promised shiggy, hills, tunnels, and medically injected shots. Whatever that all means.

After waiting a sensible period of time for stragglers, we were off with only a bit of late start. Straight up a small hill and almost immediately resolve was tested, with the 1st tunnel ‘challenge’ presenting itself. A notable performance by GRAB MY SACK, for taking his shoes off. After this, onwards and surprise, surprise upwards.

A few more checkbacks caused the pack to start to become splintered. A good have dozen, including SLIPPERY DIGIT (more on him later!), DOG WOODY, and others were caught in a massive checkback and just thought … “Not back up that hill,” almost as if they could already smell the beer stop and proceeded to ‘Zen home’. More fools them, as they missed the Shot stops provided by SHAMCOCK and the as of yet un-named Claude.

The main pack spurred on by their shots were not long (<10mins) after the short-cutters.

So on to circle. Snacks were provided by LIDU in the form of Cheese, grapes, and Bread. Much enjoyed by all.

Also, under the new Beer-raiser system, drinks were provided by MEME, ICE-FOOTSIE & DOG WOODY. Efforts much appreciated. Also new was if you are going to drink from a bottle (bubbles or cider), Down Down vessels are not to be used. Remember this for the future!

Notable Down-Downs:

SPUNKNIK for not knowing who the committee are

BELCHES WITH WOLVES and 1-NIGHT WONDER, for a multitude of reasons.. Going to the Zoo (No need as the Hash provides all the animals you need!), being late, and Last but not least, was curing SLIPPERY DIGIT of his constipation by scaring the shit out of him on the way back in. I can’t think of worse person to scare you in the darkness!

Virgin Just Casper said he would come again

Last but not least, the main event being the naming of Just Claude…

He had a white tee-shirt that someone had written a cock and balls on his back in permanent marker. The shirt was washed but the cock and balls remained and persists … So not the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but Arise ‘Dick Back of Notre Dame’ (something to do with being French in there too!)

Venue: Cheapish beer. Food good enough, cheap enough.

Editors Note – Think you can do better? Volunteer to do the next write-up.